I've been through a lot this week and I've learnt a lot of things, now I feel as though I should share it with the 27 people that are following this, and probably a few more that come across this on the way. People found out about my YouTube this week and well that was just the call for a disaster, it's something I'm extremely passionate about and something that is part of me, but also something that people can easily pick on and take the mick out of. I know a lot of guru's who have had so much stick for youtube that they stopped making videos but I wasn't prepared to let people take half of me away.
Basically.. Without thinking about it, I subscribed to a channel that a load of boys in my year have created ('madmanolympics'- It's hilarious! Check it out and tell them that I sent you!) and well because they only had a small amount of subscribers, they were clicking on each person who subscribed to them. You can then work out what happened from there yourselves. Later on I got a call from one of my closest boy-friends, who told me that someone had posted this - 'LOL. search jdrmakeup on youtube, lol. do you think she even has a life?!' on formspring. It didn't make me feel the best to be quite honest but he re-assured me that everything would be okay.
The next day however, I had to go home after I had a reaction to a nutri-grain bar (I have a nut allergy). One of my best-friend's then rang me later to check that I was okay and told me that one person had told my whole english class about youtube, so I wasn't very happy but I did find out who my real friends were - a person who I thought hated me, stuck up for me and said something that has really stuck by me. People that I didn't even know had stuck up for me and People that I thought nicely of just laughed. Truly, that just show's who cares and who doesn't.
In my opinion.. youtube for me is a big thing and something that I love very much. People can tell me that it's stupid and pathetic but I've really seen a different side to myself, a person that wants to achieve something that isn't just grades. I've never felt so strongly about something until this whole opportunity came along and well, it really has changed how I feel about everything. I used to be so judgemental and it's so silly. Who cares if someone is a little overweight, who cares if someone wears something thats not 'in fashion'. Who is to say that someone is not doing the 'right' thing. I used to view everything in a that way, but now It's just opened me up to be a better person.
One person said to me throughout this experience..
'The thing is with you Jess, is that your ready for the world and the only thing holding you back is your age. With sad people trying to make fun of you, life will just be easier for you, so just smile at the haters because they're just jealous that you're going to be going places while they're stuck in this pathetic little world of theirs :) Make this week not a struggle but an opportunity to show people who you really are :) <3'
Now that, Is what has changed me this week and made me learn that wherever you are and whomever you are with, life is a ball game and to win it you've got to be individual.
I Love You